Flying Furniture K
by mamabot
Summary: The K version of my Author's Gifts' posting so it can be read to children. Quite often I find stories here I read to my sons, and so I toned this one down so it too can be enjoyed. If you like it, I might tone down the Poker one too. A crack fiction spun from NightStalker13's sketch of Megatron sitting in a inflateable chair Shockwave insisted on bringing home.


Flying Furniture: Rated K

**Yes this is the K version so I could read it to children. The only violence is to the furniture and a couple bots with bad decorating taste. For the PG 17 version, see my Author's Gifts Chapter 30.**

**Setting: Post War, Cybertron.**

**Cast: Shockwave Megatron (sharing an appartment), Karmashock, Cole (also sharing a separate appartment: OC's of NightStalker13) **

**Innocent by-standers: Inflatable furniture**

~~00~!~~

Walking into the therapist's office, Megatron instantly stops, thus his roomate slamming into his back. "What the heck is this crap, Karmashock!""

Karmashock looks up from his desk at the stunned ex-faction leader, "What do you mean?"

Shockwave pokes his head around the silver back and nearly squeals in delight, "Oh, it arrived! I love it!"

Megatron slowly turns his head and glowers at his best friend, "You like this crap? What the frick is wrong with you?"

Karmashock shrugs, "Well, I like it."

Megatron points a deadly digit at the doctor, "You are on the wrong side of the desk, mech. No wonder your ex-mate did all the decorating." He shakes his head in bewilderment.

Meanwhile his most trusted soldier dashes over to the nearest piece of inflatable furniture. Like an artist inspecting a sculpture, runs his hand along the back of the pink air-filled couch. "So, how does it feel?"

Karmashock smiles and pans his hand out, "Be my guest."

Shockwave settles himself down in the couch and wriggles his aft into the plastic furniture. _squeak squeak_ goes his bum against the cheap material.

Megatron just stares, raising an irritated optic brow to the horrendous noise. "Oh Primus... I'm in hell."

Shockwave is perfectly at home in the squeaky furniture, letting off a soft sigh of utter contentment.

Megatron turns away from the sigh, nightmares already brewing of this stuff in his mechly-home. He turns back to the light blue therapist. Karmashock seems quite pleased that his decorator is pleased with the new furnishings. Rounding the desk, he makes his way to one of the chairs, and settles in with his own double squeak.

Megatron groans at the sound of both mechs squeaking in their cheap seats. "What happened to the solid leather couches? You know, the professional ones that make you look like you have a solid processor?"

Karmashock lays his arms out on either arm rest, "Believe it or not, there are mechs with worse tempers than yours." Megatron snorts. Karmashock thumbs to the window behind him, "That's new too."

"Please tell me this is temporary."

Shockwave shakes his head, "Oh please tell me it's not. I think it fits in quite well."

"You would."

Shockwave raises a hand, "Hear me out."

Megatron crosses his arms over his aggravated chest and cocks his hip much the way he used to when listening to Starscream's blatant lies to a failed mission, "I'm listening."

Shockwave wilts his antenna at his former-leader's irritated stance. "Think about it. They are soft and fluffy, a comforting environment. A welcoming place to rest your worries."

"Hum, well put Shockwave," Karmashock nods.

"Thank you."

"You both are air heads," Megatron shakes his own bewildered head. "I refused to sit on a modified sparkling's toy."

"Megatron!"

"..."

squeak squeak squeak

Megatron points to Karmashock, "Oh please, you were thinking it too. After all, that is your specialty, right? Looking into ones' inner sparkling hood and accessing their issues?"

"I.. ah.. never... uhh," Karmashock stumbles out, leaving Megatron to turn to the other.

"Oh please, that noise of the squeaking! Is there a petro-mouse in here or just your tight aft getting comfy again?"

"Goes with your over inflated ego," the purple mech mutters back

Megatron just gapes. "Say that again?"

Karmashock can't decide weather to laugh or run. The daggers being thrown back and forth from the optics make it clear his new furniture is in serious danger of being damaged.

"Have you got an end table to go with this absurdity?"

"Um, actually, I do."

"Really?! Can I see it?" Shockwave squeaks out of his seat.

"I was kidding," Megatron moans.

Karmashock shoots a grin back also getting up, "I wasn't."

"I'm in hell." Megatron sinks his face into his palm watching his used to be dear friend and mental therapist go to the shipping crate and pull out a bright green package. In a matter of moments, two bright green cubes are set beside the large pink couch and twin turquoise blue chairs.

"Oh... my... Primus..." and new horrified voice comes from the door way.

Megatron looks up to the red doctor. Cole looks like he just got hit by a train... again!

Stepping back, Megatron and Cole survey the scene. It reminds him of back on Earth at a children's carnival and all the inflated bounce houses. A scene he hoped to never see again.

"If Karmashock tries to session me in this plastic nightmare, he will find himself in your ward PDQ."

Numbly the red and white checkered mech just nods.

And then Megatron hears the last words he ever wanted to hear:

"And then I can bring them to my place!"

Megatron snarls and tells the ICU doctor, "Call ahead. You will have a patient in about five nanoseconds. I'm going to kill Shockwave!"

The brooding silver mech takes a step away but is stopped by two things. First the words:

"I'm taking one end table and the blue chairs,"

and the white claw clamping down on his silver forearm.

"Shockwave will have a roommate if Karma even THINKS about bringing that crap into my home!"

Megatron turns to his ally. Cole looks like he's going to be sick at the thought of that stuff in his elegantly dignified home. The strategist's grin breaks out, "Doctor, we need to plan a surgical strike." The two sane mechs exit the room.

In the hallway, the two mechs plan their attack and then return as if they were talking about nothing in particular. Meanwhile the purple and blue mechs have been chatting away about how cute it would be to decorate the whole house in "Early Femme Bacheloret Style."

Both Cole and Megatron fight the shudder going down their spines to the image of their whole mechly-dens looking like a Powder Puff Girl Boutique.

With the nod of a leader, Megatron grabs the arm of a blue chair. Cole grips the back of the other one.

"Karmashock," Cole gathers the blue one's attention.

fwap!

the ebony palms whack the blue chair into the motorbike's unsuspecting back sending him stumbling to his knees.

Cole glowers, "Geez, Megatron. He's a bike not a lorry!" The sliver face grimaces slightly.

Shockwave brings a palm to his face in horror, "WHAT are you doing?"

Megatron raises the chair high, "It's called anger management. Correct, Doctor?"

Karmashock shakes his buzzing head and rises to his pedes, "Who's anger are you managing?" With that, grabs the green end table and flings it at the over grown sparkling.

Easily, Megatron bats it away with the chair. Cole smiles at Shockwave, "Oh come on, you know you want to do it."

"Want to and going to are two totally different things." Shockwave shakes his head. "This is completely irrational and a waste of perfectly good furniture."

"Perfectly good furniture?" Both the red and silver mech question to each other.

Then with a joint nod, turn their attack on the major culprit of this fiasco. The white antenna go pert seeing both blue chairs headed his way. Backing up, trips over one green end table and grabs the other for his defense. Cole whacks the mech in the shoulder and Megatron in the gut seeing how the face is covered by the green plastic. Karmashock quickly comes to his ally's aid and grabs the other green instrument.

"Hit him hard. This is all his fault." Megatron pounds into his once loyal soldier with the weak weapon.

Cole shakes his head continuing his assault on the purple warrior while Karma tries to block the blows but failing miserably while laughing.

Megatron wrinkles his nose, "This is not funny Karma, this is a very serious attack on my home and I will defend it by beating some sense into my roommate!"

Cole hits Karma in the head, accidentally, and the therapist stumbles back, "Ooops, sorry."

Karma cocks his own helm, "Oh please, it's not the first time I've been knocked around by a patient. I'm not as weak as I look."

Just for that, Cole steps over Shockwave's helm and takes another swing at his own roommate, "Fine. Time to find out what **you** were thinking."

On and on the blows go knocking the four mechs around and around the room in a fit of mechly giggles, a few old Deception threats and some cussing. Until one blue blow lands square on top of the pert sharp snow white antenna and **_POP_** the blue plastic deflates over the top of the geometric purple helm.

Megatron can't help but double over in laughter. Shockwave looks as deflated as the ruined furniture with his sagged shoulders, hunched back, "aww" groan and the blue plastic draped over his whole head with only the wilting white antenna protruding through.

Cole chuckles, "Nice one Megatron."

Karmashock sags, "Damn."

Shockwave mutters from under his blue mask, "You owe him thirty stanix."

"Thirty for this piece of junk. No way. I'll give him two."

Cole chuckles, "I'll give you sixty if you do it again!"

Megatron snerks, "You're on!"

Shockwave quickly comes back alive. Ripping the blockage off his face, rolls his shoulders back in a stance Megatron hasn't seen a quite a while. His Military Operations Commander is back. Bringing the antenna in line, planting the pedes and rippling the thigh, brings his fists into play. Itching the pointers, knocks the helm, "Bring it on, My Liege," in the old coded language.

Dropping his own shoulders in preparation for battle, and squaring his own hips into stance, narrows his deadly gaze, "Your head is mine."

"You have to catch it first."

Megatron growls. Cole steps back bringing a hand to Karmashock's chest to make him back up as well, "This doesn't look good."

Circling the pink barrier, the two warriors access their opponents. "Cole, chair." Megatron orders.

Cole tosses it, but Shockwave intercepts it with one curled arm. Snapping the antenna up and back, the silent mech challenges the other. Karmashock tosses the other end table as the circling silver mech comes into range. He smiles. Shockwave slowly shakes his head making it clear the charming fangs won't do it this time.

"Are they always like this?" Cole asks.

"I've never really seen them in action, so I couldn't tell you for sure. But dang, this is ... exhilarating!"

Cole looks down carefully at the therapist, "I never knew you were one for gladiator sports?"

"I'm not. It's just a side of his personality I've never actually seen in action and now, this just explains a lot."

"Right, you keep believing that," Cole cocks a brow to the lie. Karma frowns at his partner.

Bringing the green irritant to his face, Megatron opens his maw wide. Shockwave warns, "That's twenty!"

"It's worth every drop." And punctures the item with his fangs. The hissing air wheezes out under the powerful crushing palms, "You're next."

Shockwave shutters and swings, making contact with the over eager helm. The lethal palms slam the green plastic around the lithe wrists in bondage, wrenching him to the side. Both mechs go to the floor in a scrabble for the upper hand and the remaining blue and green pieces of furniture. In the end, Cole and Karmashock just watch the destruction figuring it safer to stay out of the way of the two well seasoned fighters and bondmates.

"I give," Shockwave finally pants when Megatron gets the second piece skewered on the pointed antenna. Sagging down to the pink piece of furniture.

Megatron chuckles, heaving a bit himself and grinning in triumph.

"So Karmashock, add up the damages and put them to his bill," the purple one cocks a lilac finger to the miner.

Megatron flicks his finger through the air, "Completely worth it. Primus, that felt good to destroy something again."

Cole laughs. "Thank you for saving my apartment, I owe you one."

"Find the catalog he ordered this from, put a block on the website and we will call it even."

The white palm takes the black one in gentlebot's agreement. Both the purple and blue bots frown in defeat.

Turning his attention back to the instigator, Megatron snarls, "I'm not done with you."

Shockwave spreads his hands out on the pink couch, "Please, leave the poor therapist with something. He still has sessions tomorrow."

Megatron cants his helm and considers his options. Coming closer to the pink poof, he sighs, "Very well."

With a huff, he flops down onto the opposite end. The seismic cannon's frame is no match for the heavy armored tank's falling form. With a flail of violet limbs (and a delighted silver chuckle) the pink couch launches Shockwave into the air.

"AHHHHHH!" Shockwave cries out landing on both Cole and Karmashock in a tumble of sprawling limbs.

Megatron roars with laughter and yanks his arm into the air preparing to draw the pointed elbow back down, "Sorry, sue me, but I have to do it." The elbow jams into the last remaining piece of furniture, "I hate pink so very much."

With a loud whooosh, the plastic deflates quickly under the great laughing sparkling. "Now, **that** is therapeutic."


End file.
